Eight Years & Eight Learnings

Rockharbor Charlotte launched eight years ago today - March 27th, 2016. It was Easter Sunday (the earliest Easter Sunday we've experienced - even this year's March 31st is early!) and we had our first 'official' service after being in Charlotte for eight months. We had somewhat trained our team and had spread the word for our launch. We had 87 people there that first Sunday (and then around 30 the next...). 

As my calendar reminded me that today was our launch anniversary, I was thinking through the years - ups and downs of ministry. I have changed so much since eight years ago, and I think most of it is for the better. One of my joys now after eight years is the realization that a lot of things God has shaped in me can be beneficial for others, thus the following "Eight Learnings" from the past eight years (believe me, there are plenty more). 

 As a disclaimer, if you're reading this and find yourself referred to (obviously not by name), I genuinely am thankful for the way God worked through you before, during, and after the lesson He taught me through our relationship. I have a long way to go in ministry (hopefully) and a long way to go in being more like Christ. 

1. Jesus is the foundation. 

Before we set out to Charlotte, God spoke really clearly to me through an upside down campfire. The premise of the upside down fire is that the foundation needs to be solid for the fire to burn properly. I heard Him say "Jesus is the foundation of the Church. If He is the foundation, it will stand." Which is really similar to what Jesus says to Peter in Matthew 16 - "On this rock I will build my church." Jesus wasn't referring to Peter (though Peter was a pretty amazing dude), but rather to the profession Peter had just made in 16v16 "You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God." 

If we're not careful, we can make a whole slew of things the 'foundation' of the church. Great programs, epic worship, amazing preaching... or even a great atmosphere with properly dimmed lights, smoke and lasers. At worst, we can make the Lead/Senior/Head Pastor the foundation. Are they a great preacher? A great shepherd? A great leader? 

But at the core of the church is not a sermon, a setlist or a great lobby experience -- but the person of Jesus Christ. We want all of those elements to be excellent, but they're never the foundation. 

2. You're not God. 

A few years ago - actually four, because it was an election year, we had a couple that left the church because my political preferences weren't what they hoped for (I'll leave you to wonder what my preferences were). I was sad because they had been a part of the church for a few years, and I was hopeful that they had grown spiritually to recognize that political preferences shouldn't be the most important factor in a person's Christianity - much less that they would leave a church because we disagreed. Nonetheless, they left. 

I was bummed and felt I had failed them as a pastor. Surely my preaching and leadership and prayer would have shaped them to be more spiritually mature, but it hadn't. A wise friend counselled me then (and numerous times before and after) that I am not God, and it is He alone, working through Holy Spirit, who transforms people. And that transformation is usually more like cultivating a plant and building a house. And it also looks wildly different than what we hope for.

Which is where we should all say "Thank God I am not God!" What kind of god would you be? Not a great one, I'll wager. But it's challenging to release that responsibility and authority to the one who has all authority. 

Whether it's someone in your church, or a child, or a close friend. We're called to be obedient to Christ in how we live, but the work of cultivating Christlikeness in others is always His work. 

This wasn't the first or the last time I'd have to learn the lesson and surrender to God, who is actually God, and not me. 

3. Skip School. 

Shoutout to Mike Moses for this one. Being a pastor is hard with young kids. I mean everything is more challenging with young kids - but specifically around taking time to hang out with them. Sundays are full and Saturdays often find themselves full with parties, games, and other responsibilities like chores... which I love... jk. 

Mike told me that he had his kids skip school whenever he wanted to hang out with them. To the point that the school was worried about his kids attendance, even though their grades were great. To be fair, schools get funds based on attendance, so they have to follow-up with absences. 

Kris and I have adopted that strategy, choosing to have our kids skip school on a Monday or Friday so that we can extend our time with them. Most people get Saturday and Sunday off, but not our family. Even a couple of weeks ago, we went camping as a family (for the first time - it was awesome) and had our kids skip a day of school. We didn't make an excuse - just said they were camping. 

As a caveat, Mike did say 'before High School attendance doesn't matter.' Sorry Mike if I'm throwing you under the bus! So until our kids are in High School (just three years for our oldest!), we're going to take them out of school so we can do 'normal' things that others get to do. 

4. Be a tortoise (most of the time). Some times you gotta be the hare. 

Eugene Peterson has a book that walks through the Psalms of Ascent, and its title is A Long Obedience in the Same Direction. It's a call to steadily pursue God through the highs and lows of life. 

The challenge is that we life in a society that is fast and expects quick results. But the best things in life are never immediate. It's not a call to be lazy, but a call to not rush from one things to next in a hurried state.

The buzz word today is "I'm so busy." Most people, if asked 'How have you been?' will respond with some variant of 'I'm busy.' I'm convinced that is a self-inflicted condition - running around from one task to the next with seldom a moment of pause, or slowness, or unhurriedness (is that a word?). 

One of Jesus's most compelling calls is found in John 10, where he describes himself as the good shepherd, who knows his sheep, and his sheep know his voice. John 10:10 sums up what should be our pursuit - "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." I don't want a busy life, I want a full life. And a full life contains moments of slowness, of being intentionally present, even unproductive. 

Yes, there are times we should be the hare. Running rapidly, pursuing with passion, but I think the long-game that I'm living for is a tortoise life, a life that is less busy than it is full. 

5. Discern subtle comments. 

This started off as 'pay attention to subtle comments' but I quickly rephrased it, because if we paid attention to every subtle comment, we'd be contemplating far too many. 

One of the things I've seen, and usually seen after the fact, is that people let you in on what's going on, but it starts with subtlety. We had a leader in the past who made subtle comments here and there, and I looked past them as nothing substantial. Years down the road, I realized that those comments were leading into a much bigger reality that I wish I could have pulled at, like a loose thread on a shirt. Not to unravel it entirely, but to see what bigger issue or concern was lying underneath the subtlety. 

Just recently one of our leaders made a comment and then sort of dismissed it. I realized this was one of those 'subtle comment' moments, so a couple days later I called and asked them about it. Non-judgmentally, but, as Scazzero teaches, with 'curiosity.' There was in fact more to the subtle comment than initially revealed, and I was able to talk with them through it, clarify any misconceptions, and point them towards scripture as it pertained to their question at hand. 

If there is a subtle comment made in your general direction, and you can't shake it. I would urge you to bring it before the Lord (that sounds cliche, but I mean it) and then if He gives you freedom, to bring it back to the person. Approach with curiosity - I legitimately will ask "I'm curious about this statement you made..." and then see if there's anything underneath it. Some of these will need to be dismissed, but in the case where there is something lying underneath it, they will be appreciative of your pursuit, and you'll be better off with a clean conscience. 

6. Leaders serve the Lord of the house. We don't first serve the house of the Lord. 

A pastor mentor, Dori Little, shared this nugget with me when I asked him "What are three things you'd say to a younger pastor?" (the other two were solid, as well, but this blog only has eight learnings) 

It's a fine line to follow, because we want the 'house' to be excellent, healthy, beautiful, and vibrant - all words that God uses in His scriptures to describe His church. But we'll often be tempted to serve the needs and wants of the house and the people therein, to the detriment of serving the Lord of that house - which, as a reminder to point 2, is God, not you, nor your concerned congregant. 

There are times when pastors and leaders in the church need to make hard decisions, say difficult things, and call people to a lifestyle that is counter-intuitive as well as flat-out oppositional to what they're looking for. These aren't ever easy, but if we're to lead the church well, we must keep our eyes focused on God, and then ask Him for wisdom to lead the church, not the other way around. 

7. God wants our obedience, even when it's not clear what obedience will lead to. 

This comes from a beautiful story when we were asking God for confirmation that we would move to Charlotte, NC from southern California, removing our family from a great community of both church and friends alike. 

I was praying for confirmation at San Elijo camp grounds. It's a decent place to pray, as it's near the ocean, and I was able to have a lot of solitude, much of which was out on a surfboard in the Pacific. I was asking God for a clear sign - a burning bush, a clear audible voice, even a dolphin jumping over me with a bottle with a note inside that says "Go to Charlotte." Surprisingly (or rather, not) God didn't speak to me that way. 

As I was surfing alone, a group of five guys were out with me. They were all friends, based on their conversation with each other. I wanted to be alone. One of the five paddled over near me and began talking. My initial response (internally) was "Go away. I'm trying to hear from God." but I was cordial. He kept pestering me (really just being friendly) until he asked why I was there, what I was doing, and I just finally said "OK." And told the random guy what I was asking God for. 

And then, without the sky darkening, or thunder booming, perhaps similar to Moses's description where God spoke to him as 'a friend speaks to a friend' this random stranger said "Sometimes God is calling us to be obedient, to trust Him, even though we don't know what it looks like." I didn't know what Charlotte would look like (the rando didn't know that). I knew God was calling us, and it would be a huge step in obedience. I knew immediately that it was God speaking through this guy - who I really thought could be an 'angel unaware'. It turns out he's a real dude, Mark, and I am thankful for his uninvited friendliness that day on the water by San Elijo. 

8. Develop thick skin, but keep a soft heart. 

This one is particularly if you're called into ministry. There are countless stories (many I'm sure you've experienced, and more you've heard) of people in the church wounding pastors, leaders in the church, etc. As much as we are to be pursuing Jesus personally, and prayerfully considering where we have to repent and continually become more Christlike in every arena of our lives, assaults, attacks, complaints, critiques and downright denigration is coming to come. 

What I've learned through wise counsel is to bring those comments to the people who are close to you who can speak honestly and if necessary, painfully to you. It's happened with other leaders in our church, with close friends in the church, with randoms that aren't really close at all. 

But if we're pastoring, or leading in the church, we're to model our lives and our ministry after the person of Jesus. He was, far more than you or I ever will be, insulted, reviled, persecuted, and downright attacked - in every state of the word - emotionally, physically, psychologically. Yet he turned the other cheek, prayed for his accusers, and like Isaiah writes (53v7), "He was oppressed and afflicted, yet he did not open his mouth; he was led like a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before its shearers is silent, so he did not open his mouth." 

If you're going to endure in ministry on any level, you've got to know that trials will come - sometimes in the form of accusations or slander, and while it might be tempting to grow calloused to the point where those words don't affect you at all, we must seek to keep a soft heart. 

These following words might sound manipulative or empty to the people who have hurt my wife and I, but I am genuinely sad, grieved, at times to the point of tears, that the people who have assaulted us in some way (never physical, thankfully, at least not yet) have left the church in the way they did. I still regularly pray for them, want the best for them, and trust that God is working in them. 

If he's able to work in a sinner like me, he's able to work in every single person on the planet. 

Lost and Found.

 I have an eleven year old that loses things constantly. The old adage has been used on him more than once "You'd lose your head if it wasn't attached!" Due to his ability to misplace things, the lost and found at his school is a oft-frequented stop. Lunchbox. Jacket. Waterbottle(s). 

Sometimes those can be treasure troves. I remember when different schools or soccer leagues open up lost and found at the end of the year to empty it out. We've found some awesome water bottles, a pair of cleats -- even an unclaimed iPhone years ago (don't judge - it was left at the end of the school year and remained unclaimed for three months). 

Luke 15 has three stories of lost things. All of them are found. Breaking from the 'lost and found' at my sons school - they aren't just sitting there in a pile of other lost things - they are very, very lost. 

The first is the lost sheep. 1 out of 100. 1% of the herd. And the text tells us that the shepherd leaves the other 99 in 'open country' -- implying that they'd be put at some risk -- to go and search after the lost sheep. In this way we all are like sheep - we have gone astray. We meander from one patch of grass to the next, our only direction being our appetite - "This looks good. Oh, that sounds fun. Try this." 

But God, as the good Shepherd, that is Jesus the Christ, searches for us. And friends, He is successful. I didn't get to this on Sunday as the parable doesn't really get to this point - but you gotta know that there isn't a single lost sheep that he hasn't been able to find. He has a 100% success rate at sheep-finding! He found you, after all! 

The second is the lost coin. 1 out of 10. 10% of the dowry most likely for this 'woman.' The woman rummages through her entire home with a lamp seeking after the lost coin. Looks under stuff, moves furniture, sweeps with lots of elbow grease to ensure it hasn't been buried by foot-traffic. We're also like the coin - in that it is helpless. 

Apart from the initial work of the Holy Spirit in our lives, most often through His church, we are unable to seek God. We're enemies of God. Our hearts are absolutely self-centered. Our minds are closed off to His beauty and grandeur. But God, through His church (which is what the woman with the lamp symbolizes) seeks out that which is lost. He too, as the woman with the lamp searching for the lost coin, has 100% success. There's no coin out of his reach - there's no soul beyond the reach of his arm to shed his love and light on. 

The third one - well, that's for next week. The lost son. Not 1%, or 10%, but half. And not just a part of your family's revenue stream (the sheep), nor just a part of your dowry or 'life-savings' (the coin) - an integral, valued, cherished, loved key part of your family - your own flesh and blood. And unlike the sheep who wanders, the coin that is helpless, the son willingly leaves the Father's house, selfishly dishonors the Father by demanding his inheritance now, and self-destructively pursues wild living from outside the safety and security of his family. 

Being Sick is the Worst

 Man, being sick is the worst! Try and establish any sort of rhythm with work, family, exercise, etc. and then get some cold or severe allergies and just throw it all out the window. That's one of the excuses why I wrote this later than normal (not that anyone is eagerly anticipating my thoughts, except those who write our Life Group curriculum)! 

Jesus gives a call for anyone who would become his disciple, and then the way Luke retells the story, there are three 'whoever does not...' cannot be my disciple. I called these 'disciple doesn't's' (and always am guessing how many apostrophe's I should include). 

A disciple doesn't love anyone more than Jesus.

A disciple doesn't ignore the cross they are to carry. 

A disciple doesn't cling to that which they possess.

Three interesting concepts, but they're all around three really significant areas of our lives. Relationships, self/power, and possessions. I'm not sure if there's anything else that slips through those three large categories, especially if you interpret them broadly. 

Jesus is painting a clear picture that if we are to follow Him, to be His disciples, we're to reorient how we live every aspect of our lives. He is the most important relationship, He is the authority, and all we possess is His. 

What I think I failed to communicate in preaching this passage is to encourage! All of my main points were around the fact that this call is incredibly hard, none of us will ever perfect it, and it doesn't involve the common notion of health, wealth and prosperity that circulates our nation as the all important goal. 

But what I've percolated on for a bit now (that's one of my favorite words for two reasons... I really love percolating on ideas, driving around with the radio off just thinking, mulling it over... second reason is bc I love coffee and just bought a camping percolator so I can have fresh coffee when we camp!)... where was I? 

What I've percolated on for a bit now is that if Jesus is God, and if God is the Creator of the Universe (including us) and the only all-wise, all-powerful, eternal, fully loving and fully just and fully merciful and fully gracious entity... then these three arenas of life only make sense if they are lived out as Jesus calls us to in Luke 14. 

If God is who God says He is, we are absurd to not love Him so exceedingly, it makes every other relationship look like hate. 

If God is the King over every King, the King's King (I love saying it that way), then we have no authority and we are only admitting we're not in charge as we carry our cross as a statement of fact, not something we can 'choose'. 

If God does own all things - cattle, hills, breath, gold, silver, etc. then us not 'clinging' to our possessions is more of a statement, again, of reality as we can't cling to them anyways. He gives and He takes away. He sends rain and withholds it. He causes the Sun to rise. 

I asked my son yesterday what reasons he could come up with for people not believing in God. Other than other faiths who worship a different deity, the basic answer was that most people don't believe in God, or order their lives around Him, or ... do the three things listed here (hate, carry, cling) because they want to live life how they see fit. I think he's right. 

But if only we could all see (Christians, Christians in name only, Atheists, other theists, alike) that God is God, there is no other - we would be less challenged by a passage like this, and more of a crowd of head-nodding as we agree to the reality that Jesus is portraying. 

Send a Delegation!

 Luke 14:25-35 records a pretty strong teaching about what it means to be a disciple. A few 'doesn't's' (how many apostrophes do I need there?) But as I was reading through Matthew Henry's commentary, a beautiful image of Christ's love overflowed in the imagery. 

Henry mentions the example of going to war but preparing for war by estimating if we can win. Our 10k vs their 20k. And that being a disciple implies a life of peril, or pain, or sacrifice - as there is in actual war. 

But then he makes the poignant point - if we choose non-discipleship, insisting in our sin, we are waging war against God. A God that no matter how well prepared you are, well trained, well resourced - his power outmatches you infinitely. 

But... check this beautiful nugget out. If that were the case, and maybe you've realized that, following Jesus's illustration here - we should go and seek peace right away! You're stronger, you're greater, you're mightier - please let us surrender! 

But God. 

God initiates peace with us! He sends the delegation - doesn't wait for us to. And not only does he broker the peace, but he brokers a peace that is both immeasurably costly to Him and exceedingly wonderful for those who receive it! 

It cost Him the life of his son - death on a shameful torture device, separation from the Father, all of our sin cast on Him. Agony. Pain. Abandonment. Evil. 

And it offers us full and free pardon for all of our sin - past, present and future - and with that pardon, right relationship with God, and eternal life (beginning now) with our creator and Lord, alongside all of our other blood-bought brothers and sisters! 

Love it! 

What's your excuse?

 This past week I was delighted to have another person in our church's pulpit. Don't get me wrong - I love preaching. And most times when someone else preaches, I think of how I would have done it differently. This week was no exception - except that I realize if I had preached like Lakeysha did (you can see it here) it would have been an act, a facade. I just can't bring the energy and the cadence and the rhythm like she did. 

Nonetheless, as I was looking at the passage, and listening to her message, I couldn't help but be drawn to the excuses the original 'invited' gave (v18-20). A field. Five yoke of oxen. A spouse. There's probably a creative connection between all three. A field that is unplowed, the animals to plow the field, a spouse that the animals and field are providing for. 

But without unnecessary pressing of the texts original intent - these three excuses are just that - excuses. Perhaps you're reading this and you're far more mature, so you'd never turn down this invitation because of some property, or some animals, or even a wife. But the underlying premise is applicable for all. 

What is that which you hold of higher value than Christ and His Kingdom? 

I remember when I was younger I desperately prayed God wouldn't return before I got married and had kids. Thanks for holding off for me, Jesus. 

Now I'm hopeful I get to meet my grandkids some day.

But once I meet them, I'll probably have another thing I'd like to experience... first. 

There's a natural inclination in our humanity to prioritize temporary, tangible, and physical over the eternal, intangible, and spiritual. 

When Jesus calls you - will you bring an excuse, or your self? 

This Strange New World

 One of the elements of Christianity that puzzles me, one that I can almost guarantee puzzles you, too, is the idea that we're disciples of Jesus, and/or that we're citizens in the Kingdom of God. Not that you don't think you are - I believe I am a disciple of Jesus, a citizen of the Kingdom of God - it's just that it's really hard to describe what those mean fully. 

Our church uses three phrases for what it means to be a disciple, found in our mission - follow, become and do. Disciples' primary goal was to become like the rabbi, to do what the rabbi was doing. Similarly is the idea of citizens. We are citizens of the KoG, and likely another kingdom too - whether it's the US, or another country... maybe you're reading this and you're a sovereign citizen, or you somehow found this post and you're off-the-grid and won't allow anyone to claim you as their citizen. You're the exception. 

Back to the point. Jesus, throughout His biographies, is teaching his audience (and us) what it means to be His disciples, what it looks like to fully live as a citizen in His Kingdom. In one example (Luke 14) he gets invited to a dinner at a Pharisee's home, and has three interactions (at least through v14 - there's another starting in v15). One is with the religious leaders, another with the guests, and the third with the host of the dinner. Each audience he specifically addresses an area they were lacking, falling short, missing the point, or possibly even sinning. Whether it was sabbath regulations, true humility and the humble/exalt balance, or authentic hospitality and the tendency to invite guests to 'gain' something. 

I was struck by the fact that Jesus doesn't talk to the religious leaders about hospitality, or to the guests about sabbath regulations. Meaning that there was a specific area of their lives that Jesus wanted to poke, to speak into, and to call them to change. 

This is my conjecture, so take it for what you will - but you're likely in one of those three groups, and I have one question for each for you to consider. It's possible you're in all three, or at least should wrestle with all three questions. 

The religious leaders (Pharisees, Teachers of the Law) is for the Christian leader - pastor, small group leader, kids director, worship leader, youth pastor. The question: "What would prevent you from healing someone?" Which is what they were doing as to not violate the sabbath. But the question grows if you consider other acts of mercy we're commanded throughout the scriptures. What would prevent you from praying for someone? Showing mercy? Extending compassion? Sitting with over coffee? I still haven't fully figured out how this group could heal, knew they could heal, and yet refused to on the sabbath day. 

The guests (moderate Christians, attending but perhaps not in leadership, middle of the pack sort of gal). The question: Do you want to be humiliated, or honored? That's an EASY one, am i right? Well, the answer lies in your ability to humble yourself, or exalt yourself. And this isn't just about dinner etiquette, but about living in the Kingdom. As a disciple. Do you demand honor, are you entitled to a certain level of respect because of your background, your years of 'service' to God, or even perhaps the radical generosity you've demonstrated in your giving. 

The host (I'd say this is wealthy, influential, connected people). The question: Do you want to be blessed, or repaid? Jesus says if you wanna be repaid, invite those who can repay you - other 'hosts' or people like you. But if you wanna be blessed, invite those over who can't. You'll be a blessing, and be blessed, AND you still get repaid when Christ returns for the second (and last) time. He isn't saying don't invite those who can return the favor, but a key attribute of His disciples, of citizens in His kingdom is the ability to love the stranger, to be hospitable (Greek: philoxenia, φιλοξενία). 

Maybe it's best you read through Luke 14:1-14 again on your own. Consider how the Spirit of God might be speaking to you, through His Holy Word, through this little letter I've written - so that you can further understand the costs and the benefits of being a disciple of the wisest and most powerful rabbi; a citizen of the best Kingdom with the greatest King.